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Monday, June 14, 2010

12. The Ivy Open

                                  

I attended the 24th annual Ivy Open golf event that recently took place during the weekend of June 10-13. This event takes place each year in northern Minnesota near the town of Detroit Lakes and it's always one of the highlights of my summer.

After attending this outing for 24 years I felt it was finally time to start documenting the major highlights of the weekend. As the years fly by the details from past Ivy Opens are now starting to run together and our group is having a harder time differentiating the years. Hopefully this edition of my prattle will provide everyone with a quick recap of this year's event along with a permanent record of the 2010 Ivy Open.

I also felt that the history of this event needed to be documented for future reference (when we are too old to remember anything). The short overview provided below will explain how the Ivy Open got started and the people who have made this event successful for the last 24 consecutive years.

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Ivy Open History

Founding Fathers: Mark Anderson (Concordia College buddy) and I went up to Mark's lake cabin near Detroit Lakes in the mid 1980's to play golf.

Growth: Other Concordia college buddies who lived in the Fargo-Moorhead area were invited to play golf with Mark and me during this time frame - 1984 to 1987.

Birth of the "Ivy Open": In 1987 one of our group was backing up his car to turn around near the lake cabin and his back wheel got stuck in the ditch....it took a total group effort to push the car back onto the road.....a few days later nearly everyone had a bad case of poison ivy.....(obviously the ditch was full of poison ivy that we didn't see due to darkness).....from that day forward this weekend golf outing has been called the "Ivy Open"....Mark Anderson won the prize for the worst case of poison Ivy....had to go the emergency room in the middle of the night for treatment....text book case....there may be pictures of him in some medical books.

Official Dates: The Ivy Open is held each year on the June weekend that is two weeks after the Memorial day weekend (in most cases it's the second weekend in June)....event runs from Thursday through Sunday.....24 consecutive Ivy Opens have now been held since first one in 1987.

Attendees: Concordia college buddies along with other friends.....8 to 12 people attend each year.

Commissioner: Mark Anderson...he's the "glue" that holds it all together..the "straw that stirs the drink".... he's the brains behind the operation.....he's the reason the Ivy Open is still alive after 24 years....schedules the tee times....informs everyone about the schedule...provides a place to stay for everyone.

Headquarters: Mark Anderson's cabin on Little Cormorant Lake near Detroit Lakes....provides food and lodging to all participants who need a place to stay.

Golf Courses: Hawley Golf and Country Club, Wild Flower Golf Course, Detroit Lakes Country Club

Golf Rounds Played: The number has varied over the years but the current format calls for 18 holes on Thursday, 36 holes on Friday, 36 holes on Saturday and 18 on Sunday.

Description: It's like a long Seinfeld episode.....a weekend about nothing.

Mission Statement: Give all participants the chance to.....experience fellowship....laugh....have fun......tell old stories.....enjoy simple humor....forget about life for awhile.....recall our lives when we wore a younger man's clothes....

Core group of attendees :

Name / Nickname / Major Role and Responsibility

Mark Anderson / Andy / Commissioner and Organizer
Brad Atchison / Face / Agitator (good natured razzing of buddies)
Dave Karlstrom / Kulla / Shot Doctor (fixes golf swings)
Kris Gulsvig / Tiffer / Weatherman and Designated Driver
Jon Johnson / Jonny / Head Chef and Story Teller
Darrell Olson / Oly / Minister of Finance (handles "kitty" money)
Paul Peterson / Palmer / Andy's Top Assistant.... Pharmacist (Candy Man) - doles out the Advil
Perry Reinertson / Rino / Official "Let's Play a Scramble" Advocate
Craig Samuelson / Sammy / Agitator (same as Face - see above)
Kevin Shipley / Ship / Assistant Chef
Dan Storrusten / Stork / Story Teller and Entertainer
Kent Stadum / Stade / The "Anti-Golf" Guy
Dave Grinaker* / Grok / Spiritual attendee - passed away in 2000

*Stories about him are told over and over each year at the Ivy Open.

Guest attendees over the years

Dave Borchard
Lon Dommer
Steve Hinrichs (City Stork)
Joe Sullivan
Luther
EI
Mark Sklisker
Spammer

Notes: Nicknames will be used in my prattle.
              (nicknames were big in our day).
           To enlarge the enclosed pictures, just click on it.
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                Ivy Open 2010

This year's IVY Open kicked off on Thursday afternoon, June 10th at the Wild Flower Golf Course near Detroit Lakes, MN. Unfortunately there was sadness to deal with this year because Kulla's father, Duane Karlstrom, passed away only a few days prior to the start of the Ivy Open. Even though Kulla had a very heavy heart he felt that the best therapy for him would be to spend some time with his old friends. The Ivy crew was happy that Kulla made that decision and hopefully the weekend of fellowship helped.

This version of my prattle is dedicated and written in memory of Duane.

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Ivy Open  2010 Attendees: Andy, Face, Kulla, Tiffer, Oly, Jonny, Stork, Sammy, Rino, Ships and me.


Face, Tiffer, Kulla, Andy, Oly, Rino, Stork, Johnny
(missing - Sammy, Ship and me)

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Thursday Highlights

-Andy and I leave the cities at 9:30 am on Thursday, June 10th....the drive up to Andy's cabin is loaded with "firsts"......this will not be good for two Scandinavian boys who don't adjust to change very well.......their OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder) tendencies will be put to the test.

-First # 1 - I have to drive to Andy's cabin because Andy's big Chevy Suburban is in the shop for repairs......my "Rain Man" personality is going to come out now....

-First # 2 - We leave earlier than normal so the Hardee's in Sauk Center where we always stop is still on the breakfast menu....oh oh.....now what?....we suck it up and order breakfast.......all this change has already worn me out!

-Weather is awful in Sauk Center....cold wind....50's....rain.....forecast is bad.....first wash out of the Ivy Open?

-First # 3 - I miss the exit off of I94 that takes us to Andy's cabin......how could I be such an idiot?.....just flat out missed it.....I'm now officially rattled....my Dad was right....all change is bad!

First # 4 - Mandatory stop is made at the "Cash & Dash" convenience store in Pelican Rapids...sign on the door says CLOSED UNTIL FURTHER NOTICE.....What?....Closed?.....Can't be!....I'm a mess.....




WHAT?....YOU'VE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!"

First # 5 - Buy groceries at Cormorant Store ......yes, we bought Super Chunky peanut butter per Jonny's special request....our world is now officially upside down...


Andy: "They don't carry stereo speakers like the Cash-N-Dash."

-Andy does his chores at the lake...no lawn mowing on Sunday morning this year....sorry Jonny.

-Nice improvements at the cabin....new siding....new door.....new deck down by the lake.....looks like Ivy headquarters will be around for a long time.....

-Andy and I arrive at Wild Flower and Kulla is already on the putting green....Face and Tiffer pull in moments later....The IVY IS ON!!!

-Face, Kulla, Tiffer, Andy and me make up the fivesome who will play on Thursday afternoon....(they allow fivesomes in this neck of the woods)....still reeling from all the changes....how can I swing a golf club after all of this?

-Tiffer the weatherman files his report.....our eternal optimist /"silver lining" guy says we have a 5 hour "window" to play where it will not rain....he's a walking radar report.....

-On the other hand Kulla says that the weather is "unsettled"....he's a good farm boy....he predicts the weather on "feel" not radar...who's right?

-Computer problems in the Wild Flower clubhouse again....happens every year....I must be a computer virus carrier...

-Fortunately we got the "window".....light rain early (it was a dry rain)...no rain the rest of the day.....big bonus - NO WIND... how is that possible here?

The Shot Doctor made an early house call....tries to fix Face's swing on the course....more treatments are prescribed for later in the weekend.

-Some rounder / slug comes out on the course and accuses us of not paying our green fees...we set him straight....it's their screwed up computer that causes the problem.

-We even play an extra 3 holes.....21 holes are in the books.....could this be a record setting year for holes played?

-Off to Hotel Shorham (bar on the lake)....order 3 large pizzas....they are gone in a flash...hungry bunch....."Store Special" is the answer....Andy, the fussy eater, has to have his Canadian bacon and pineapple pizza....

-Tiffer is designated driver for our group.... Kulla's huge Suburban SUV is our bus...luxury travel....no snacks are provided however.

-Off to Hotel Shorham (bar by the lake)......the usual large crowd is not there.... an old Cobber classmate named Mike Eisert is there...he's a karaoke regular...says we only have 7 good years of life left.....once said that the reason he has 14 pairs of cowboy boots is because "he can"....sings a Toby Keith song...not his best performance..

-"Ira sighting"......yearly tradition...Ira is always there....(may not be completely true but he's been there a lot)...I won't let the truth ruin a good story...

       
 "Ira, where is your party barge?"

-Andy enforces our curfew....back to the cabin.....need to sleep fast....gotta be ready for "Ivy Friday"....the signature event of the entire Ivy Open weekend.....36 holes followed by a party in the parking lot.

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Friday Highlights

-Drive to the Hawley Golf Club in a steady rain.....oh oh....wash out?....what are we going to do all day?....bowling?.....cards?.....

-Tiffer says we may still get another "window" of dry weather....

-The "window" arrives and we tee off at 8:45.... only 30 minutes late...

-Oly joins the Thursday group (Kulla, Tiffer, Face, Andy & me)....smaller group than expected....Sammy and Rino have work responsibilities and can't make it.....Stork and Jonny decide to go fishing in the morning and will join us for the afternoon round....

-We play as a sixsome....no one else is on the course....another dry rain at times...NO WIND again!...what is going on?....it's always windy up here.

-Andy the commissioner tees off.....IVY Friday is underway....hit till your happy is rule on the first tee.....

 "I think I will hit another one."

-Kulla, the Shot Doctor.........
   
 "I'm okay, I know what I did wrong"

-The Hawley Golf course is hosting a shot gun scramble event called the Lester Fest that starts at 2:00....memorial for a 31 year old guy named Lester who died of a heart attack last year....money raised will go to a scholarship fund...could create problems for our afternoon round....

-Not many good shots or great scores for the sixsome....just happy to be there.....and happy to have avoided a wash out....there will be no time for a break between rounds in order to beat the start of the scramble....

-We receive special permission to blend into the scramble event once it starts...our status as regulars for 24 years in row at this course pays dividends....we tee off for our second round around 12:30 to get a head start......(no other non-scramble groups are allowed on the course).

-Jonny and Stork are back for the afternoon round.....two foursomes......

-My foursome....
                                Andy, Me, Stork, Jonny

-Lester Fest representatives are stationed at the 13th hole to collect contributions for the scholarship fund.....

"You guys go ahead and play, I'll see you in the parking lot."

-Sammy and Rino join the group and play the last three holes......work responsibilities are over....

-Stork shows us how to navigate a hill with two bad knees....you just back down the hill...

-Upon completing our second round of 18 holes and unprecedented decision is made.......we are going to play another 9 holes.....another "first"....may as well do it....all traditions were broken on the trip up the cabin on Thursday...

-In the meantime, Jonny our chef is working his magic and getting his big meal ready for the party in the parking lot....I always tell Jonny that he should "fuss" for us......however I love it when he "fusses".....

-Our buddy Ship joins us for the party and he plays an important role in helping Jonny get the meal ready.....Ship is forced to "fuss" with Jonny....

-45 holes of golf are finally completed.....we set up camp in the golf course parking lot........let's get this party started......

Andy (red) works his blackberry....billable hours!

-Before we start eating we must first settle up on all the games we have going.....skins, captain game, low ball/ high ball, team scores, etc....this always promotes lively discussion...money exchanges hands...we whine about our playing skills....guys want strokes.....good natured razzing of each other....

-Jonny is known for the the outstanding meals he provides for us every year.....he always has something new....and it's always delicious.....

-The main course on this year's menu was a pheasant dish....sort of like a hot dish....a really high end hot dish that tasted great.....and you know how us Scandinavian boys love hot dishes....he also provided a very delicious summer salad and bread rolls.....it was quite the feast.....Jonny is the king of "Fuss".



 "Gone already?.....we must have inhaled it" 

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Parking Lot Party Highlights


 Tiffer: "I'm predicting another "window"... we'll play 36."
Ship: "When did you become a meterologist?"
Kulla: "The Shot Doctor has an opening right now."

                                                        
         
    Sammy: "The Ivy is dead."
    Rino: "I still think we should play a scramble."



 Sammy: "Face, your swing has really evolved over the years"
 Rino: "That server training class really wore me out."

-Sammy goes on to provide an excellent demonstration of how Face's swing has changed as he as gotten older....

-Face's swing.....

                                  "Was Sammy right?"

                                               

           Kulla: "I tell all my patients to replenish their fluids".
           Face: "Jonny, did you make any chicken?"
           Ship: "Hey guys, remember I fussed too."

-Face passionately tells a story of a touchdown call Sammy (as one of the game officials) made in a Willmar high school football game. (Face was an assistant coach for Willmar at the time).....


  Face: "Then Sammy comes running in and signals touchdown."
  Stork:  (his gesture shows his thoughts on Sammy's call)

-Face later tells another great Sammy officiating story that happened in a Willmar girls game this year.....(Face as coach/Sammy as game official)....a new slapping of arms signal is born...too hard to describe....knowing this group it will live on forever...




Oly: Let's shoot fingers.....need to decide where we are going.......
1-Stay..2-Hotel...3-Pub....4-Go home...never see each other again."

-Great party as always...plenty of banter....lots of laughs...many stories to tell....Grok stories are retold every year... they never get old......

-No sign of our buddy Stade....he talked about showing up for the parking lot party....he did have a good excuse....his son, Peter, was playing doubles in the state high school tennis tournament today.

-Mosquitoes drive us out of the parking lot early....they ate me up.....just waiting for my first symptoms of West Nile Virus.....

-Choice #2 - Off to Hotel Shoreham for more fellowship.....

Jonny: "Need to check out this new bar...so many cars are there."
Jonny: I thought the place was a used car lot."
Oly: "I need 20 bucks from everyone for the kitty."

-The Mayville State crew is again there again this year....their annual golf outing is the same weekend as the IVY Open.....we have actually got to know these people over the years....

-My gal Ranell is of course there with her Mayville State gang.....she has adopted me as her buddy over the years because she's bored with her husband Tom....also because I'm the only one in our group who will talk to her.....

-Renell looks so different.....don't know what it is.....can't seem to put my finger on it....what is it?


"Ranell, I almost didn't recognize you."

-Stork arrives and agrees with Jonny....we need to check out this new bar called "Pit 611"....live band called "Front Fenders" is playing....located at the crossroads of County Road 6 and County Road 11....near Andy's cabin which is good for us....

-Upon arrival Face notices that one of the singers in the band is guy that he, Kulla and Oly used to play fast pitch softball with in the late 70's.....

-Their softball buddy is called "Shaky Jake"......he is much more famous now because his son Ben Jacobson is the head coach at the University of Northern Iowa (UNI)....the team that made a run in this year's NCCA basketball tournament by beating #1 rated Kansas....very proud papa...

-Shaky Jake is bigger than life....large features.....outing personality....very entertaining guy.....full of fun...he keeps his mic and intermittently chimes in on the songs from the back of the bar as he talks with our crew.....

 Oly, Face, Shaky Jake, Kulla, Tiffer


-The place is hopping.....located out in the middle of nowhere....this was a great find for our crew....close to the cabin....an added bonus.....

-Oly does an excellent job as the "Minister of Finance"....keeps everyone in our group happy.....

-It gets late early at this place...need to get to back to the cabin...another 36 holes to play tomorrow.

-Oly, Rino and Jonny get lost on the way back to the cabin....the blind leading the blind situation....I direct them in over the phone....get out on the road and wave them in....everyone is back safe...

-Andy has key trouble at the cabin....too dark to see....fumble..bumble....the crew gets antsy as they wait....Kulla demands that a motion light be installed.....on the list for next year....

-Once back at the cabin the mandatory Toast Marathon (TM) is held.....

                      Andy: "I claim the next one."
                      Jonny: "I love my super chunky peanut butter."
                      Face:"I live for toast and tang."
                      Tiffer: "The radar looks good."

-Toast Marathons started back in college at the place I lived my senior year...simple concept - guys just came over and ate toast while watching NFL football...the only rule was "bring your own loaf"....we provided all of the toppings....

-Jonny and Kulla go on a laughing jag after they have gone to bed...(both in the same room)....unbelievable laughter.....can anything be that funny?....and for that long?....amazing..

-Jonny is sleeping in a bed that was named "the tick bed" by me....when I slept in it over the years I would wake up with ticks crawling on me.....Jonny now wants to give this bed a new name...."the spider bed"....he fought off some big ones during the night...

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-Saturday Highlights

-36 holes at Wild Flower are on the schedule for today......10 guys are playing today....

-There is always some discussion on the first tee about the games we will play....this usually prompts someone to start talking about giving stokes and/or using handicaps for all of our games.....

-Stork then says his famous line about why he won't give strokes to anyone...."It's not my fault your a terrible golfer"....this always ends any talk about using handicaps....

-It appears we will dodge the rain again for the most part.....no computer problems in the clubhouse today.....that's an another Ivy "first"......

-I talk the club house guy into letting us play in two groups of 5....(fivesomes aren't allowed on weekends)....I'm a salesman you know...this is what I do...convince people to do something they don't want to do.


                           "Who's with who?...
                           "Which group goes first?"....
                           "Are we drawing tees?"...
                           "What are the games?"......

-First 18 holes are completed.....long round....4 hours and 40 minutes....money exchanges hands....quick snack and it's time to tee off for the second round....18 more to go...let's get moving......

-Sammy has to leave....we are now have 9 golfers for the second round....we will play as a fivesome and a foursome....for some reason we let the fivesome go first....very bad decision....


"What's the deal?....everybody has their own cart?"


-Stork, Rino, Face, Tiffer and me make up the fivesome ....my group takes some serious abuse from the foursome (Oly, Andy, Jonny. Kulla) that we are playing way too slow....they were probably right....

-After a long day of golf the Ivy gang slowly gets ready to leave......a tired bunch needs some food and drink....Kulla and Jonny decide to head for home due to some family commitments....sorry to see them go....glad Kulla was able to be there after all he had been through recently....


                  Andy: "So, where are we going?"
                  Face: "Anywhere that serves chicken."


Our group Saturday evening group is Face, Andy, Rino, Stork, Oly, Tiffer and me.....we had such a good time at Pit 611 that we decide to go back for there and have "our last supper"....

Stork:"Have I ever told you my McIntosh Winger story?"
           Oly: "I've heard it 17 times...tell it again."
          Stork: Went to a wedding..Shoes?...you didn't have shoes."

-We engage with some old Cobbers at the bar....(older than us)....one of the guys played football with Gary Larson at Concordia....yes, the Gary Larson who also was one of the four Purple People Eaters for the Vikings in the 70's..Eller, Marshall and Page were the other three...(poor Gary, very few fans ever remember that he was part of that famous group....and that he was a Cobber).

-The place is pretty dead....a few people sing karaoke.....quite a change from Friday night...there is an old guy who is all decked out in his cowboy hat, flannel shirt, jeans and boots...he does a few songs...not a very good.singer...there is young lady who can sing and she provides a little entertainment....

-Amanda was our very friendly and competent waitress at Pit 611...from Montana....her Dad just bought a lake cabin nearby....she loves northern Minnesota...



"Amanda, you buy yourself something pretty now."

-We decide to make one last attempt at fun and head to the Roadhouse bar.....live band is playing....not many people are there....where is everyone tonight?....we obviously didn't get the memo......there has to be something big going on somewhere.....the mandatory bachelorette party is there of course....we see one almost every year.....band is pretty good....

-Time to go....our fun meters are broken....Rino heads for home.....the Ivy is slowly shutting down....always a bit sad at this time every year.....

-Back to the cabin for one last Toast Marathon......

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Sunday Highlights

-Sunday is considered "get away" day.... very few people left to golf.....kind of sad...

-Andy, Tiffer, Face, Oly and me are the only ones left to play golf...this last 18 holes are often referred to as a "death march"....not much life left in the gang...

-First tee at Detroit Lakes Country Club....9:30 am tee time....last 18 of the weekend....let's just get it over with so we can talk about it....

Oly: "Remember guys, this is not a driving range."
Oly: "Hitting a Titlelist, Top Flite and Nike in my pocket."

-No rain again.....the "window" lasted all weekend....thanks, Tiffer.

-There is "Spud-Cobber" sighting....this is group of guys we have run into over the years...they went to Moorhead High School (Spuds) and Concordia (Cobbers)...they are much younger and we want to avoid them...they were a bit obnoxious the last time we saw them...

-The Ivy Open comes to close around 2:00 pm.....IT'S OVER!!...one quick stop on the lanai at the golf course to wrap things up.......

   Oly: "I would say my fun bag is full."
   Face: "How many days until the next Ivy Open?"


Awards

-MVPs:      Tiffer (weatherman /driver).....Jonny (Chef)

-Best Story:       Face - Sammy's touchdown call

-Best Demonstration:   Sammy - Evolution of Face's swing

-Best New Guy:    Shaky Jake

-Best Band:   Front Fenders

-Best Bar:    Pit 611

-Most Holes Played:   Andy, Face, Tiffer and me - 120  (new Ivy Open Record)

-Most Telephone Time:  Andy   (at least he was making money doing it)

-Best Golf Shot:     No qualifiers

-Worst Golf Shot:    Too many qualifiers...can't pick just one

-Best Scores:   Who cares?...(especially when you aren't very good)

-Most Money Won: Doesn't matter...not what the Ivy is all about (except for the big winner and loser)

-A byproduct of this weekend is that we "saved lives".....what do they say about every serial killer or mass murderer?....."he was a loner, he had no friends, no fellowship"....the Ivy Open fellowship keeps us sane and balanced....no serial killers will be coming out of this group.

-Ivy Open 2010 is now officially closed.....a fine time was had by all....no one got hurt....no one got in trouble....it was all good....

-The countdown to next year's Ivy Open has already begun.....it will be a big one...the 25th anniversary...

- Parting thought........No man is failure who has friends.....